I was having a conversation with a client today and as she connected with what she really wished she could say to someone important in her life , she realized she needed to have a difficult conversation.
Knowing that I teach and talk about Difficult Conversations she asked, “So how do I get him to listen?”
This question is the big question that most people have.
We are so keenly aware of when the other person doesn’t listen to us.
That’s exactly why it is a very powerful tool when you begin a difficult conversation by listening to the other person.
What is going on for them?
Where do they feel unheard?
What are they really trying to say?
You make the goal of your conversation to connect.
Sometimes it does mean that you delay bringing up what you need to say.
Sometimes that is only a few minutes, sometimes an hour, sometimes a few days.
You share your presence by showing up for the other person.
You earn their trust.
Having felt heard the other person will now be likely to listen to you.
Think about it.
Isn’t that what you need?
To feel heard?
Give the energy that you want to receive. Come from a place of generosity before need and you will find a much more willing listener in the other person.