Parenting by Heart

Inside a heart the words love 24 hrs
Photo by Wyron A on Unsplash

How do the choices you make every day as a parent align with your goals for your child, for your family life?

I was still in the parking lot when my distressed daughter called me. One of her costumes had not made the trip with her to the theater for the final dress rehearsal of her upcoming dance recital. We lived 30 miles away, and had just slogged our way through rush hour traffic to get there. I had plans to eat dinner with local friends and didn’t want to cancel for this.

Inventorying the choices, I couldn’t help but register the various parent voices and opinions that exist in the parent-sphere. I thought about the parenting paradigm of not helping, letting the child deal with the consequences as a learning experience.

What am I enabling if I go home and get her costume?

Why not let the child learn to remember by negative example?

Was I hovering and protecting too much if I got her costume for her?

Road sign showing a choice of left or right turns
Photo by Pablo García Saldaña via Unsplash

Years ago, as a new mom holding my infant daughter, I had the realization that what I most wanted for her was to learn to trust herself. I knew that meant cultivating that trait or skill within myself first.

So, that’s what I did.

After some disappointment, heavy sighing, and hearing all the arguments in my head, I decided to follow my instinct. I told my friends I’d be late for dinner, and got back on the highway. (Thank you friends for waiting for me!)

Later that evening, in the car ride home, my daughter thanked me and said that it made her feel good that I had helped her. It made her want to reciprocate.

That’s when I understood what my instinct had meant. I had lived my values of kindness and compassion in the way I treated my distressed daughter. Listening to her, I knew that for who my daughter is at this moment, for who I am right now, I did what felt right. Hopefully, she will remember the event as a positive example of caring and kindness.

By now, you probably have an idea of what you would done in a similar scenario with your child.

How would your choice have aligned with your goals for your child, your self, your family? What would feel right to you?

Would you like an opportunity to reflect on your values, and how to align your parenting goals with them? Join us for our next webinar, or contact me for a complimentary coaching session.  

 

One Comment on “Parenting by Heart

  1. Coaching is (and ought to be) a personal, intimate experience. The way you bring your own stories & experiences to your practice is truly inspirational.

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