Almost five years ago towards the end of a particularly challenging school year where I had stress at work, at home, in relationships and in my return to theater, my body just slowed down. Workouts got harder, I felt like I could barely move most of the time. By the summer, I had weakened to where I had trouble walking, tired very quickly, had mysterious sensations throughout my limbs. It took five weeks to rule out the very scary neurological disorders which left me with what we named at home the “Mommy Mystery.”
During that five week period, I couldn’t imagine anything else it could be, but some neurological degenerative disease. So, I made myself a list of all the things important to me that I still could do. I titled the list Awareness.
Insight (is there a verb form?)
Listen to music
Listen to podcasts
Find challenges within my own ability
Find creative outlets within my abilities
Be grateful and appreciative for what I have and what I can do.
Recently, I had a conversation with someone about my journey with Fibromyalgia and how I have managed to live a full life despite the challenges of the mysterious syndrome. As I listened to myself answering questions and telling my story, I noticed how often I used the word “awareness” and how “awareness” had functioned as my compass as I navigated my journey with Fibro. Cultivating “awareness” of what I could do at each stage of my recovery, awareness of my body, of the pain, the fatigue, the just right amount of challenge and enough resting time has enabled me to build myself back to being a fully functioning person.
Wow. What an amazing tool. How else might I use awareness as a tool for transformation?